Oh I forgot to post this.. it was stuck in my drafts.. and uh… I like the idea of Big boss wearing Kaz’s sunglasses…. heh.. heh… he—-h—
( big boss. )
Boss walked backwards as Kaz walked forward. He wasn’t afraid of him, no. Of course, he and Kaz had been known to have it out. Fist fights weren’t an uncommon. Those were few and far between now. For no reason other than Boss just didn’t feel right hitting someone who might not be ready for it. If Kaz hit him? Then the fight was on, just like before. But for him to take a swing at a guy? It just..he didn’t think he could do it. Not this man. Not HIS Kaz. The man he loved with every fiber of his being.
He listened to his screaming, and didn’t say a word. Standing there, he allowed himself to be pulled apart. His heart to be ripped from his chest, stomped on, shredded, and tossed off the side of Motherbase. Shaking his head, his eyes didn’t leave Kaz’s as he just watched him. "Nothing about you is useless. You’re the reason this place is still running. Think about it. You keep this place on it’s feet." He had to laugh a little as he thought about just how out of balance their roles were.
"Seriously Kaz, think about it. There are a hundred soldiers who could do the mission better than me. I promise you that you could come up with at least a dozen, off the top of your head, who could do it twice as good as I ever could. I’m nothing but..a face. A name. A title that I don’t deserve because I haven’t done ANYTHING.” It was the truth. He had killed his mentor. But that was a part of her mission. It was her choice to die. He hadn’t made any decisions. He had gone along with the plan, and then was rewarded for it. He was a fraud.
Boss was probably going to piss him off, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was punched in the stomach. He didn’t know why he had ever thought of..leaving this place. Even when he was no longer needed, when MSF was no longer his, he couldn’t imagine trying to be in a place without Kaz. Even if it was..in that way. He wasn’t about to give up the time they had. He wasn’t. He couldn’t.
"I’ll never leave you. I’m always going to be here. Your mom..she was sick, Kaz. She was ill. That had nothing to do with the man that you are. And your father had..he had issues. He needed help. The people closest to him should have seen it. You are not included in that because you tried to bridge the gap between the two of you. You did everything you could. You have never been at fault in these things."
Shaking his head, he held him tighter, still waiting for that hit. That punch or hell, even a bite. But still, he continued to talk. “I wasn’t leaving you. I would never leave you. Knowing that someone had..had taken you. That I wasn’t able to protect you in the same way that you’ve protected me all these years? It reminded me that I have never been good for you. But god damn it Kaz. If I hadn’t made it to you in time, I wasn’t leaving. If you go, if you leave me, I fucking follow you and I don’t look back. It’s been that way since I got that fucking grenade away from you, and it’ll be that way until we’re old and gray together, you hear me?”
Of course, that had been the only thing John was worried
about —— Motherbase and the fact that Kaz was the reason
it was still up and running… of course, it had always been
the war… the fight, the battle, the blood, and the smoke.
It was rough, to be involved with someone who was so hellbent
on bloodshed, that he cared not for anyone, but those who kept
his danger alive. Kazuhira Miller was a man of peace. At least,
he had been, before Afghanistan —— his original intention to
begin Motherbase, was to put a stop, to the very thing he and
Big Boss created together.
Death and destruction. Fallen families and the lives of many.
His leg… and his arm; not that he cared much for himself, in
the end, his one responsibility had been Motherbase, so maybe
that was all he was good for. As he’s starting down the broken
face of Big Boss, Kazuhira Miller remembers then, why he is no
longer that man —— burdened with the regret and sorrows, of
a broken man who had been strong for too long, and insisted to
continue to be as strong as he had been, not for himself, but for
those around him.
Afghanistan had been enough to warrant his psychological break
- down —— though, it hadn’t, not yet, not fully… it had been
another way for Kaz to protect John, the one man, that had meant
more to him, than the very epitome of life itself, and for nothing. I
did this for you, he had spoken in the chopper, upon his very delayed
rescue, I did all of this for you. That was the truth, it had been, and
it still is… and nothing would change the fact that most of which
Kaz had done, allowing himself to be so horribly disfigured and
maimed, all in the name of trust and honor and friendship and love,
was for Big Boss. Was for his John.
❝ In the end, that’s all you care about… the mission.
The mission and how many men we lost. Victories,
and losses… the blood stains on uniforms, and the
mouths that no longer need to be fed. The families
that need to be warned, that they don’t need to wait
for the flight home. Not once have you stepped aside
from this all, and asked Kaz how he was feeling. ❞
❝ Hey, Boss? Have you seen Cecile around?
I think I did something to make her angry again,
she kinda stormed off, stomping her boots. ❞
Is slightly saddened that he’s unable to
tell his stories of Japan now.